My Story Part 2- Shadows and Denial

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I have always had a fascination with the paranormal ever since I was very young. Growing up, I lived on an old farm in Rochester that had been constructed in the late 1880s.

Since the buildings were already over 100 years old when my family purchased the farm in 1997, the house had to undergo an extensive remodel before we could live there.

It was during this time that my little brother (who was three) began telling us stories of a monster that lurked about the house. He referred to it as “big shadow”.

This big shadow was often spotted by my brother peering out the kitchen windows while we were playing outside, or in our bedrooms at night.

I never saw the creature myself.

Often, my little brother would be heard talking out loud while he was in a room by himself. When we asked him why he was talking to himself, he explained to us that he was talking to the “people that lived in the ceiling”. He also mentioned hearing a voice screaming “I didn’t do it!” on more than one occasion.

*UpdateI talked to my brother about this yesterday and he said that the voices would come out of a an old chandelier that hung in the kitchen and was original to the house. He also said he would have nightmares frequently and feel hands grabbing at him while he slept.

My parents downplayed the indecent and told my little brother that “big shadow” was not real and was all his imagination. However, many years later and long after we had moved out of that house, my father revealed to me that both he and my mother had  actually been very concerned. They hid this in order not to frighten my siblings and I.

My father said that on many occasions he would hear or see strange things in that house at night.

One guest that visited around that time swore she saw a dark figure standing on our back porch and she left right away. While she told this to my parents at the time, I only found out about it recently.

My father began playing Christian music round the clock throughout the house. We began reading our Bible’s and praying regularly out loud. After a while, “big shadow” and the “people who live in the ceiling” were heard from no more.

I still remain fascinated with that experience to this day.

The potential ghostly presence in my childhood home was only interesting to me, not frightening.

What I had experienced with Jane that September night was absolutely terrifying. After Jane left, I had turned every single light on in my apartment and stayed up watching tv all night. The next morning, I made the two hour drive back to Warsaw..

As I drove back home, my hands were still shaking so bad that I had to really grip the steering wheel. I mentally pulled up my catalog of horror movie experience and began to compare notes with everything that Jane had told me about her nightmares and the events of last night.

It didn’t take me long to put a name to the “black thing from the dreams” that had introduced itself to me.


Everything pointed to this. All the signs were there! The nightmares, the figures with robes and crowns, the violent seizure. It all added up.

As you may have guessed from that little peak into my childhood earlier, I grew up in a Christian household. I remember hearing stories about demons from the Bible when I was younger. It elaborated about these creatures and how they would control people. It even mentioned demons throwing victims to the ground and causing seizures. Crazy stuff right?

I did believe in the Bible and in God, but I had never really given much thought to the existence of devils and demons in the real world.

As the day went on, I began to mentally downplay what I had seen the night before. I began making excuses and trying to logically explain everything. After all, I hadn’t seen Jane float, or make inhuman sounds, or exhibit super human strength. Nothing in the apartment had moved by itself.

By that afternoon, I had almost successfully convinced myself that what had happened to Jane was simply some sort of mental disorder. A case of split personality perhaps.

My sister works in psychiatry so I called her and told her what I had experienced. I was hoping for a “Oh yeah that’s totally normal! I see people like this all the time!”

That’s not what I got.

On the contrary, she told me it sounded like demonic possession.

I presented my multiple personality disorder theory to her and she promptly shot it down. She said she had met many a patient with multiple personality disorder and they never behave like this.

I stayed in Warsaw with a friend for a few days after playing video games and watching movies. I was trying to pretend like nothing had happened. That’s how I wanted it.

When I returned home to my apartment, I found it to be in a disaster state. It looked like I had rushed away due to a flash flood or a bomb threat. All the lights were still on. Clothes were scattered everywhere due to my rushed packing. I even left a facet running.

So I cleaned it up. I had reached the decision to ignore what I had seen.

I didn’t see Jane for a little while after that. When I did, I told her what my sister had said. She didn’t care much and neither did I. We went on with our lives.

We still hung out frequently and nothing strange happened for about a month.

We couldn’t hide from it forever though.

On a October night, just a few days before Halloween, the Monster would visit my home once more. And it would not appreciate being ignored.

Based on True Events

4 thoughts on “My Story Part 2- Shadows and Denial

Add yours

  1. Hello, Jer/Joe I bought your book last week for my brother, well, for myself as well.
    I read it in one night.
    My brother’s wife recently left him, their kids, the dogs, the house, the church after 26 years of marriage.
    She left to be with her married high school sweetheart. He’d been married for 28 years. To say this has stunned our close family would be a terrible understatement. I fully believe she has an attachment. No, she won’t be talked with and told my brother she was “dead inside.” At least to him and her life. She is a Christian or professes to be so. I feel she is and the grapevine told us she is attending Bible study somewhere else where she has simply “become” someone else. Apparently in her version of events, my brother was to blame and “God wanted her to be happy.”
    Her kids are as bewildered as their father is. As we all are.
    Much of what you said in your book rang familiar and true. I found myself marking parts of it (I never mark in books!) so my brother could see those quickly.
    Satan (or I suppose his toadies) have been telling my brother he is a loser and no kind of man. He is wearing down daily and I’m afraid for him. A joyful person, a good guy that everyone loves (well, almost) he is and always has been the man who “walked the walk” and not just talked the talk. I am angry over his destruction and clueless as to what I can do.
    I pray this book will help him! I texted him to come by and pick up the book (after his second job-teacher to troubled kids during the day and a Walmart employee at night) and surprisingly he did indeed come despite his weariness. I know he’s desperate to get a handle on this.
    We are former ghost hunters. Frankly, we got out and disbanded (yup, I founded Parker County Paranormal) because God told me to stop and opened my eyes to the tricks these insects (I like that) are up to including pretending to be children. Thus my book, “Haunted Lies.”
    Sorry this reply is so long. When I found your book and more so after I read it, I thought “We’ve found a brother!”
    And I believe you are a prophet.
    Let me relay a dream I had about two years ago.
    I dreamed it was judgement day. Everyone who ever lived was there, heads down on the ground. My brother was next to me and I saw no one else I knew. The silence! Total silence except for the voice, the voice I can never explain or describe saying, “I’ve some to separate you like chaff from wheat.”
    No one spoke or pleaded. EVERYONE knew who this voice was. There were no demands or questions. And there was no more time.
    I looked at my brother and took his hand. Then, a young woman with blonde hair flew by us, silently on her way to hell.
    I woke up.
    At the time Edwin (sorry, forgot to tell you his name) was alarmed when I told him of the dream.
    “Was it Lesa?” he asked in alarm. She has blonde hair, you see.
    I assured him it was not.
    Two years after this dream, she changed and left.
    Now, I’m not so sure it was not her.

    Thanks for reading.
    Ellen Newton Driscoll
    Just “Ellen.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ellen,
      Wow, reading the whole book in a single night is quite the impressive feat! I’m glad you found it interesting (and interesting enough to underline!)
      A couple of things I would say in regards to your brother’s situation-
      • As far as Lesa saying “God wanted her to be happy”; of course God does want her to be happy, but God also does not contradict Himself. In Mark 10:7-12 God makes it clear that He takes marriage very seriously. Knowing this, it would be hard to reason that God would suddenly go back on His word and tell Lesa to leave in order to pursue happiness. I think you are correct in assuming this to be the work of a deceiving spirit. It may have even been working on her for years to get her to this point. Satan and his demons love to destroy what God has called Holy. Sadly, this often includes marriage.
      • Secondly, Edwin might be encouraged to know that Satan and his demons do not waste their time on those they consider to be a “loser” or “no kind of man”. The Devil does not go after the janitor. He reserves his most vicious attacks for those he considers to be a great threat to him and his kingdom. It’s likely that the Devil is afraid of what Edwin can do thus why he has come after him. I will keep him in my prayers.
      As far as being clueless what to do-Prayer is literally the devils kryptonite. It is the most powerful weapon we can wield against him.
      I also have long retired from ghost hunting but we sure did have fun back in the day (I wouldn’t go back to that due to my brushes with the demonic). It’s cool that you wrote a book from your experiences with it.
      Dreams are quite curious sometimes and I believe that the Lord often reveals His future plans to us through dreams. However, as we both know, the Devil and his evil angels are also active in this field bringing all manner of night terrors and false visions to God’s children. It sounds like your dream is eerily similar to what eventually happened. I’ve heard many stories of people who have heard the voice of God and they all say the same thing- Everyone recognizes His voice.
      Thanks for reaching out and like I said, I’m very glad you enjoyed the book! I do hope it helps! The sequel comes out next week and actually has a whole section in it that talks of deceiving spirits and how to distinguish them from God. I would be happy to send you a copy upon its release, just let me know!
      Take care, Jer


      1. Are you kidding? Absolutely will be purchasing the sequel! My mom and dad had lunch with my brother and he is already into the book and relaying bits and pieces to them. I knew he should have it!
        Yes, we had experiences in ghost hunting that were “fun” at the time and troubling later.
        Oh, I was sooo “brave!” And foolish. Edwin was on the team and we called him “the exorcist” because he practically kicked open the doors and demanded “they” leave! Oh, did we not know what we were doing…

        If you would like, I’ll send you a copy of mine but forgive the editing of which there was little.
        My company back then went belly up and failed miserably in editing. To “make it up” to me they sent me boxes of my tainted book. It is not my best work. My adventure, fantasy series, “The Dragons of Candlewood,” is my favorite baby.
        But I felt God wanted me to write “Haunted Lies” and so I did. By the way, I don’t charge for that book because of the poor quality. It’s a bit embarrassing.

        Thanks for answering! Your book has meant so much to us already.
        I’ll let you know what plays out because obviously the story is not finished.
        Have a good one!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi Ellen,
        I’m glad your brother is reading the book! I hope he enjoys it and that it helps him.
        I’m VERY excited about the sequel and I do hope you enjoy it as much as the first one! I get my author copies on Thursday and I cannot wait!
        I definitely would be interested in reading your book! If you don’t mind, email me at my business address ( and I’ll give you my snail mail address. I don’t mind little or no editing- no worries.
        I’m glad to hear that my book has meant a lot to you! It’s really encouraging to know that!
        Yes, keep me updated!
        Take Care


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