Two nights ago, in a dream, I re-visited the same house where my little brother had encountered a long haired, silver tongued, ghoul many years ago (you can read about this incident in my post: Saving Jane Part 3-Night Terror). I became aware that I was standing outside the home on the other side of those large bay windows where that devil had stood whistling to itself, staring out into the night sky.
The screams of a familiar voice echoed all about the yard. There was a certain unspoken darkness that hung like a fog around that place and the earth was very damp as if a rainstorm had just passed through. More screams. I trudged through the spongy landscape around the side of the house in the light of a full red moon.
A absolutely horrific sight awaited me.
In the middle of backyard, in the mud, stood four tall creatures. They stood in a square, all donned in black robes. I couldn’t see their faces at all but I could make out arms, hands, shoulders, and heads. Surrounded by the monsters, with her face buried in the mud, was my ex-girlfriend. She was covered in mud and sobbing into her hands. Every now and then she would stop crying and attempt to stand up.
Every time she managed to stand, one of the demons would seize her by the shoulder and shove her back down into the mud. Its important to note that while the creatures were indeed preventing her from standing up, she never saw them. Her face was always downcast. She was unable to see what it was that was holding her back but she clearly could feel herself being shoved down because she reacted to it.
While I had previously been able to walk about the yard, I now somehow had become stuck in place, just out of arms reach of the monsters. The beasts were all speaking to one another in a language that I didn’t recognize. They laughed among themselves as well. I wasn’t sure if they were aware of my presence of not, but I didn’t care much.
Eventually, after seeing this process repeat itself many times, I began calling out to her, telling her to open her eyes and look up. She could hear me. However, in return, she began screaming and swearing at me, telling me to mind my own business and leave her alone. She would attempt to get up, the monsters would shove her back down, and then I would tell her to look up and she would refuse.
Finally one of the monsters turned to me and spoke in English- “You can go on pleading with her until she reaches the gates of Hell, but she will never see me!”
His voice didn’t sound creepy or evil. It was just an average male voice. It was at that point in the dream that I found myself able to move. I made my way over to her, brushed past the monsters, and knelt down in the mud. Up close, I could see that her eyes were actually filled with mud. She was blind to what was happening all around her. I tried convincing her to look up and see the devils that were harassing her, but she wouldn’t listen. All she did was scream, swear, and tell me to leave.
The monsters were amused by this display and began laughing evilly. They gleamed down upon us. I woke up shortly after this.
If you yourself have ever experienced a demonic night terror, you probably have a good idea of how this phenomena plays out. I don’t often personally experience these episodes as I generally have the armor of God fastened on tightly, but every now and then, something sinister slips through the cracks. I pulled out my phone and jotted down the dream while it was still fresh in my mind. Then I spent some time in prayer.
So why a demonic dream about my ex-girlfriend? My ex-girlfriend was (and still is) a very emotional person when I dated her, struggling with chronic depression, anxiety, and many physical problems. We were both very guarded individuals throughout our relationship, so feelings was not a topic that was often discussed.
We broke up last summer, and then the spiritual experiences with Jane happened and my life was completely changed. After re-committing myself to Christ and re-screwing my own head on straight, I began to think a lot about my ex-girlfriend and her mental illness. There were many similarities between my ex-girlfriend and how Jane was at the time of her spiritual attacks.
- Both are extremely depressed and live in constant states of crippling sadness, but have no idea why.
- Both entertain completely irrational fears and anxieties
- Both have resorted to self-harm in an attempt to release the swirling negative emotions inside.
- Both listen to extremely negative secular music that gives validation to hopelessness
- Both become extremely aggressive when others try to help them
- Both are always searching for that something that with “fill the void” in their lives and never find it
- Both have very low opinions of themselves
- Both have seen themselves as worthless or failures at some point
- Both grew up in a broken dysfunctional family
- Both have terrifying nightmares
The list goes on and on, but after having my eyes opened to the intimate involvement that the spiritual authorities of this world have on those who are mentally vulnerable, I decided to reach out to my previous girlfriend and share my experience with her in hopes that she would also find freedom as Jane had. She certainly had all the signs of having a spiritual problem. I figured that there would be no harm in telling her of my experiences even if it turned out that I was dead wrong and she didn’t have a spiritual problem. So I wrote her a letter which detailed the Jane experience. She didn’t go for any of it.
To be fair, the existence and involvement of demons and devils in everyday life is really hard to accept if you have never seen it. I assume I would have responded the same way if someone had wrote me such a letter last year at this time.
She also writes a blog, so after having the dream I checked her page. The first post that greeted me was extremely dark. It was all over the place but in summary, she said that she was extremely depressed, anxious, and very suicidal. Interestingly enough, the post before that talked about how happy she was and how everything was falling into place and how content she was with life.
A strong parallel to the dream sequence can be drawn to these emotional spikes she is experiencing. She stops crying, gets up, only to be shoved back down in the mud again by the demons. It’s very possible that she is in similar bondage as Jane was. Like we discussed back in Destroying Your Tower, you can’t knock down the tower until you’ve fired the construction crew. In the same way, when a person is in spiritual bondage, they can’t begin recovery until they send the demons packing.
But why the dream? My opinion is that it was meant to discourage me. I think it was meant as a message. I think they wanted to show me that they are in fact in control of my ex-girlfriend, and furthermore they wanted to let me know that there is nothing that I can do to help her. Dangling the carrot, if you will.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I may not be able to help her personally, but I certainly can pray for her. And there’s no weapon more powerful that that. Prayer is literately the devils kryptonite.
I always tell people who receive messages or warnings from the forces of darkness to take them as an encouragement. If the Devil bothers with you enough to try and frighten you out of helping someone, then that means you pose a threat to him. There’s nothing to be frightened of as long as you have the armor of God equipped, and a firm position in Christ.
Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the hopeless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Go Light Your World- Chris Rice